Does this sound good??please be honest.?

there seemed to be a good amount of information exchanged in a short period of time. Stretch it out more. Also, What is a "Volts wagon"? J/K know you meant Volkswagen, you could really just call it a VW. I think you might benefit, from trying to build an image stronger. There is a lot of I did this then I did that language, which isn't necessarily bad it just can be repetitive for a reader and a stronger image can be conveyed by staying away from that model. Remember this is not a put down on your work it is way to help you improve your work. keep it up and good luck.